A Long Night of Hard Truths
by Ana Hazel
Summary: At the end of the Swarm War, Jacen is visited by three Force Ghosts that hope to guide him back to the right path. / This is utterly inspired by Dickens' A Christmas Carol.
1. The Visitor

**Title:** A Long Night of Hard Truths  
><strong>Author:<strong> Hazel  
><strong>Genre:<strong> drama, introspection  
><strong>Characters:<strong> Jacen Solo and 3 Force Ghosts  
><strong>Timeframe:<strong> 36 ABY  
><strong>Summary:<strong> At the end of the Swarm War, Jacen is visited by three Force Ghosts that hope to guide him back to the right path.  
><strong>Author's notes:<strong> This is utterly inspired by Dickens' A Christmas Carol.  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong>The Star Wars Universe does not belong to me (unfortunately). I just like to play with it.

* * *

><p><strong>A LONG NIGHT OF HARD TRUTHS<strong>

**Chapter One - The Visitor **

Jacen Solo was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling of his assigned quarters in the makeshift med ward of the Star Destroyer that was taking him and the other Swarm War casualties to Coruscant. Ordinarily, they would be traveling on the much more comfortable and well equipped _Healing Star_, the GA Defense Force's Hospital Ship, but it had been left behind to play an important part in the final battle of the war

He was one of the lucky few who didn't have to share his quarters with anyone else. Well, maybe not so lucky considering that he had only been granted the single room because of the seriousness of his injury - being run through with a lightsaber was not something to be taken lightly, it was the cause of death of many Jedi. Another with similar luck was his Aunt Mara, resting two doors down and probably in a healing trance - she had had one of her kidneys obliterated by a killik pellet gun's projectile and the medics were actually growing her a new kidney in the lab.

As Jacen attempted to move to another position on the bed, his abdomen ached with the injury and forced him to remain in his original position. He had been through several rounds of healing trances during the past four days and while the ship was in hyperspace, and was now much better than expected. He would have been even better had he been able to be put in a bacta tank, but bacta was growing scarce around the galaxy, because of the war, and he and the other Jedi had opted to rely only on the Force for healing, leaving the precious fluid to the ones who did not have the Force's aid.

Jacen carefully massaged his abdomen and tried to immerse himself in the Force, but this time not for healing but to seek out news of the state of affairs on Tenupe. He knew that, even though the final battle had taken place four days ago, there was still much to be dealt with to consider the war over. There was still the matter of appeasing the Chiss and the final preparations that went to dealing with the overgrown killik colony. He knew the Jedi had a plan to control the killiks but he would have felt much better about it if he could take an active role in it. Jacen was not comfortable about sitting this one out, not with the future of the galaxy at stake.

Personally, he would have felt much better if the killiks could have been completely terminated, like the Chiss intended to do, but the Jedi Council would never have allowed for that to happen, so Jacen didn't even bring it up. It would have only caused trouble for him and he was already on shaky ground due to expressing some of his less popular opinions and some of his recent actions. Still, there was no harm on keeping an eye on the proceedings, was there? Especially if no one found out. And Jacen needed to know what was going on so that he could take steps accordingly. There was no way he was going to let anyone or anything put the future of his daughter on the line like that again.

Careful not to be detected by keeping his presence in the Force in an infinitesimal size, he scanned the superficial thoughts of the ones closest to him and their feelings in the same way he would if he were in the same room with them, yet not going in any deeper as not to be discovered. He started with his mother and then moved onto his sister, trying to ascertain what they were doing at that time and who they were with. Since they were doing nothing important, he moved on to some of the other Jedi in their group. He would not dare to do this to his uncle though, for he was sure he'd be discovered. Content of finding that everything was going according to the designed plan and there was nothing new to take notice of, he returned his attention to his surroundings and almost jumped to his feet when he noticed a shadow by the door of his darkened room.

Jacen jumped out of bed and into a defensive stance, the sudden movement causing his wound to hurt like he had just been stabbed again. He called his lightsaber to his hand and ignited it with one swift movement.

"There is no need for that." The shadow spoke in a very familiar voice and Jacen stretched with the Force to ascertain the visitor's identity. He found nothing there so he reached for the lights panel and turned them on.

As the room lit up, Jacen found himself staring at the presence of one of his childhood friends and one of his recent enemies - Raynar Thul.

Surprise mixed with a little dread filled Jacen as his mind raced from thought to thought. He knew his uncle had managed to 'rescue' Raynar from the Dark Nest - if one could call _rescue_ the act of bringing someone home against their will, some people could call it kidnapping - but he was sure the young man had been seriously wounded in that final battle and was slowly recovering under the careful watch of Cilghal, the Master Healer. Jacen was pretty sure that Raynar was still back in Wild Space and not aboard this cruiser. Maybe he was projecting himself, Jacen thought, but why and what did he want? Was he seeking revenge, but why on Jacen? It would make a lot more sense if Raynar would seek out Luke or even Mara, down the hall. Did Raynar sense Jacen's presence aboard the _Megador_, just moments before and had followed him back, somehow?

"We have a message for you." The former Jedi declared, partially answering Jacen's questions.

Jacen was about to ask who was we when he remembered that that was the way Raynar referred to himself as of late.

"What are you doing here?" He asked instead.

"We are not here. We are in the Alliance's flagship with Master Cilghal, she has put us in a comatose trance to keep us from fussing."

"Then what do you want with me?" Jacen insisted.

"We already told you, Jacen, we have a message for you. Did you not hear?" Jacen's unblinking blue eyes were very disconcerning to Jacen and he was both attracted to and repelled by them.

"A message? From whom?" Jacen questioned, convincing himself that Raynar was not going to strike him and turning off his lightsaber.

"From the Force," Raynar stated with much conviction and then began reciting the message. Jacen could swear his voice had changed pitch and sounded far more ominous.

"You are in a path of Darkness, Jacen Solo, but you are fortunate for you have been granted a second chance. You are to be visited by three Force Ghosts that will guide you in a journey through your past, present and future. You are to listen for they are your final chance of redemption. You are to expect your first guide when the chrono reaches zero-zero hours."

With that declaration Raynar's presence faded in a mix of light and darkness leaving a very confused Jacen behind.

- TBC…


	2. The Ghost of Past Events

**Chapter Two - The Ghost of Past Events**

After Raynar left, Jacen lay back down on the bed and closed his eyes. He decided right then and there that the visit had been nothing more than a dream - maybe a hallucination caused by the pain medication he was on - and nothing more than that.

So he allowed himself to relax and think nothing more of it. He must have dozed off because the next thing he knew he was being slapped on the face repeatedly by someone who was trying to wake him up.

"Wakie, wakie, big brother."

Jacen opened his eyes to find a pair of blue eyes filling his sight, mere inches away. As the face pulled back a little, Jacen found himself staring at it. It was the face of his deceased brother, Anakin!

For a few moments, Jacen was far too stunned to react. Anakin had died on that blasted Myrkr mission a whole of nine years before, but there wasn't a day gone by that Jacen didn't remember him. He still couldn't forgive himself for his brother's fate, even though everyone told him there was nothing else he could have done to help Anakin. It had been the will of the Force.

When his brain started working again, the first thought that crossed his mind was that he must still be dreaming. How else could Anakin be there, in front of him? Those pain killers were certainly doing a number on his brain for this was the second strange dream he had in the same night. _'At least the painkillers were doing something'_, he thought sardonically, _'because they certainly weren't helping with the actual pain. Maybe the medics gave me the wrong medication.'_

"You're late!" Anakin admonished, holding up the bedside chrono that was showing a time of zero hours and four minutes and bringing Jacen's attention to the present moment.

As Anakin rose up and looked down at Jacen who was still lying on the bed, Jacen noticed something different about his brother. He had acquired a blue hue, which could only mean one thing.

"You're a Force Ghost." Jacen remarked, stating the obvious.

"Move, Jacen!" Anakin commanded, pulling his brother's arm and making him get up from the bed. "We don't have time to waist."

"Where are we going? What's going on? Are you a dream?" Jacen demanded, feeling very uncooperative.

Anakin stopped and stared at his brother.

"Don't you know?" Anakin asked, sounding truly surprised. "Weren't you told?"

Since Jacen didn't answer, Anakin thought it better to clarify his confused brother.

"I'm here to help you, Jacen. To remind you of your origins and of who you are. The Force sent me. This is your last chance, it's not a dream."

Anakin was serious about this, Jacen could tell. There was no trace of that teasing tone he so often used on his older brother, like anything Jacen said could not be taken seriously, so Jacen straightened up and prepared himself to follow his little brother. He hoped that by doing so he would come to understand what was going on.

Taking a step forward, Jacen followed his brother out of the room.

As Anakin led Jacen through the empty and dim lit corridor, a million questions erupted in the elder brother's head. It didn't take long before they started poring out.

"Why did you say that you're here to help me? Why do I need help?"

Anakin stopped to look at Jacen in the eyes before answering and carefully weighed his words.

"Jacen, you're on the wrong path - you're on a very dark path and you'll bring far too much pain to our family and to the galaxy."

"No, Anakin, you're wrong. I know what I'm doing, I can see things clearly. I'm no longer that confused kid you knew, I've learned a lot since you died."

Anakin snorted at Jacen's statement. "I think your grandfather must have said pretty much the same thing before he became Darth Vader. Listen to yourself, Jacen - I, I, I… If you feel the need to defend yourself with such vehemence, than you must be doing something wrong. I know what I'm talking about, Jacen. You're going to fall to the Dark Side."

"Anakin, let me explain something to you: the Dark Side is an illusion we were fed because we didn't know any better - the Force is One, it is not Light and Dark-"

"Keep your voice down, Jacen. You'll wake up everybody." Anakin interrupted impatiently.

Lowering his voice, Jacen continued. "Vergere taught me that and I've come to see that she was right. In fact, the Jedi have come to the same conclusion - that the end justifies the means."

"Jacen, I'm not here to argue Jedi Philosophy or Vergere's teachings with you - that is not my place in this. Now, we have to hurry 'cause we are running behind."

With that, Anakin rushed out of the hallway and into the turbolift and Jacen was forced to run to keep up.

"Where are we going?" Jacen asked, steadying his breath and holding his sore abdomen.

"You'll see." Anakin answered, not willing to divulge further information.

A thick silence filled the lift until it came to a stop. When the sliding door opened again, Anakin led Jacen to the left.

To break the silence between them and because there were still too many questions floating around in his head, Jacen decided to ask some more.

"So, you're a Force Ghost. How come?"

Anakin just looked at his older brother in disbelief - that was his next question?

"Don't look at me like that," Jacen replied, "We know not all Jedi get to be Force Ghosts and as far as I know, you didn't have any special training in this."

"The other ghosts gave me a crash course so I could come see you." Anakin answered and Jacen couldn't tell if he was serious or being really sarcastic. He was about to ask for clarification when another sliding door opened and they entered a large empty room that Jacen guessed was a decommissioned briefing room.

Once the door closed behind them, Anakin took Jacen to the middle of the room and took a very deep breath.

"Now what happens?" Jacen asked, feeling a familiar twitching in the pit of his stomach as the nerves built in him.

"Now we'll get reacquainted with Past Jacen."

* * *

><p>A few moments later, a different room materialized itself around the two brothers. Jacen immediately recognized it as the Grand Audience Chamber from the Jedi Academy on Yavin 4. He was about to ask how that had happened when he saw the <em>'don't ask' <em>look on Anakin's face - some things were supposed to be accepted, not questioned. He did notice, however, that everything had the same blue hue that Anakin had. It was like the room itself was a ghost.

Looking around, Jacen saw more shapes materializing. First, a stone platform on the familiar stage and, after that, the shape of a human male lying down on top of the platform. Jacen knew immediately who that was and the second after that, he knew what was going to happen next.

All of a sudden, three winged beasts appeared out of thin air and lunged at the man's body, the only obstacle in their way a little white and blue R2 unit, and he wasn't much of an obstacle anyway.

As the whole scene came to life around him, Jacen started to hear the deafening sound of the temple alarms mixed with the shrieks from the hydras and Artoo's squeals. Then a turbolift arrived and its doors opened. From the inside, a little boy came out immediately gaining the attention of two of the beasts.

When the third beast started making advances on his uncle's body, the little boy charged against it, trying to scare it away. For a few seconds they engaged in a catch-me-if-you-can kind of game with the beasts launching at the boy and the boy evading them. That was when the boy took a hold of the lightsaber that lay next to the man and ignited it. When the three beasts lunged at him again, the tiny boy held them back with the green power blade as bravely as any grown warrior would have, managing to cut off the head of one and the poisoned stinger of another of them.

When help finally arrived, two of the beasts were dead and the third had flown away.

The sound from the scene started to fade and Anakin asked: "Why did you do that?"

Jacen tore his eyes from the half-faded images that continued to move around them and said: "Uncle Luke told me to. He guided me through the whole thing."

"Weren't you afraid?"

"A little. But I was sure it would be alright."

"You trusted Uncle Luke implicitly, didn't you?" When Jacen nodded affirmatively, Anakin added:

"Why won't you trust him now? Has he failed you since then?"

"No, of course not!"

"Is there any other reason why you won't trust him?"

Jacen didn't know the answer.

* * *

><p>When the Grand Audience Chamber finally faded completely another scene began appearing. They were the largest trees Jacen had ever seen and he knew them well. They were just outside Chewbacca's home on Kashyyyk.<p>

A tall, brown furred figure showed up at the doorstep, growled and moved in their direction. The emotion of seeing his long parted friend and honorary uncle coming towards him was enough to make Jacen's heart sing and he opened his arms to greet the Wookiee.

Disappointment flowed through him and into the Force when Chewie walked right past him.

"He can't see us, Jacen." Anakin explained. "They are mere shadows of the past, memories imprinted on the Force by those who lived them. We can't interact with them."

They watched as the Wookiee called out again and three human children and two Wookiee younglings came running to him.

"We're coming, Chewie!" Ten year-old Jaina shouted from one tree over.

"Lunch time." Adult Jacen remembered.

As the children rushed by them, Jacen noticed that his younger self was cradling a small mammal like creature in his arms, taking care to not to hold it too tightly or too loosely. He remembered that creature - he had found it wounded that morning and had taken care of it during the remainder of their stay on the planet, during the Caamas Document Crisis. It had been fun!

"We had good times here." Anakin thought aloud, also reminiscing on those days.

They watched Chewie direct the children indoors and ask young Jacen about the creature and they followed their past shadows inside.

"Are you ever with him on - you know - on the other side?" Jacen asked his little brother.

"Yes, often!" Anakin smirked. Then is face turned somber. "He would have liked to be here, but he can't because he can't move through the realms like we can."

"I would have liked to have seen him. Did he send any message for me?" Jacen asked expectantly.

"He told me to drive your head through a wall, hard."

Jacen was utterly surprised by that statement. "Why?"

"It is not my place to tell you." Anakin declared, terminating the line of conversation.

At the table, the children watched attentively while young Jacen tried to feed the furry little creature. He did it with such care that the creature - Harry, as it was now called - ate right out of his hand, not even thinking that maybe this big new friend it had found should be feared.

"You used to be so empathic." Anakin commented sadly. "You could always relate to all creatures and loved to do it."

"I still am, Anakin. I can still do that." Jacen sustained vigorously.

Anakin seemed to not have heard his brother, or maybe just decided to ignore his protest. In either case, he just continued to watch as the children finished their lunch and played with Harry.

"We were happy here," Anakin recalled, "the galaxy was breaking out in feuds and riots but here we were safe and we had so much fun."

"That we did!" Jacen agreed.

Kashyyyk had always been one of the Solo children's favorite places in the galaxy. There they had fun, made friends among the Wookiees and ran loose between the tree branches. It wasn't like Coruscant where there was no nature that could be called that and it wasn't like Yavin where they also had fun but were obligated to attend the Academy. Kashyyyk meant a true vacation and the freedom that came with it.

Jacen lost track of how long were they were there, but it seemed like too little time had passed when Jacen saw Anakin looking down at his wrist chrono - how strange, a ghost with a chrono - and announced they had to go.

"Can't we stay a little longer?" Jacen inquired, not wanting to leave the place.

"You'll be back later." Anakin said, now looking so intensely dismayed.

Jacen didn't want to know why he was like that, for he was sure it was his fault.

* * *

><p>As the trees of Kashyyyk dissolved they found themselves back at the Grand Audience Chamber, but this time the whole room was literally packed with beings. On the stage stood Luke, Han and Leia, flanked by their faithful droids C-3PO and R2-D2.<p>

Climbing the stairs to the stage was the newest generation of Jedi Academy graduates – the Solo kids, now young teenagers, among them.

"This was a fun day." Anakin commented while watching the huge grin plastered on the face of his younger self.

"Yeah, it was!" Jacen agreed, feeling the same sense of pride in himself and his siblings and friends he had felt all those years ago. "It was the end of an era in our lives."

Anakin turned back to his brother, his ghost hands in his ghost pockets.

"Actually, not that much. We still continued our training, only this time it was solely under Uncle Luke and not at the Academy. But at the time it felt like we were all grown up and ready to do anything."

Jacen snickered at the thought of how wrong they were then – they were still children and would continue to be until the war started. Then they were forced to grow up under the firebrand of the Vong.

"I miss the good old days." Jacen admitted more to himself than to Anakin, but his little brother heard him anyway.

"You can't go back, no one can. But you can have good [i]new[i] days, Jacen. You just need to open up to others again and allow yourself to really enjoy their company. Life is a blessing, Jacen – live it!"

Shaking his head, Anakin felt he should underline his point.

"You are so lucky, Jacen, you still have them - you have Mom and Dad and Jaina. You have friends that care about you. You have Tenel Ka and you have a daughter. You have your whole life ahead of you and you have time to live it. "

Jacen knew the source of Anakin's plea – his life had been far too short and he had been denied the chance to grow as a man, to be with his parents again, to love the woman of his dreams and to have children with her. For Anakin, the will of the Force had literally meant the end of his life.

Before long, the Grand Chamber was once again disappearing and a new scenery was materializing around them. As soon as Jacen saw the first outline of the new landscape, he knew this was not a pleasant memory.

* * *

><p>Jacen took a good hard look around and wished he were somewhere else. The sounds of the battle rose to an almost deafening volume as it exploded around them and not even the ghostly bluish hue could dampen the assault on his senses. They were once again in the middle of the onslaught on Dantooine.<p>

From where they were standing, Jacen and Anakin could see their former selves along with their Uncle Luke, lightsabers ignited, cutting and slashing left and right to hold back the hordes of chazrachs that kept throwing themselves at the three Jedi. The battle seemed hopeless at that stage, but Jacen knew that they would make it. After all, that was the past and it had passed.

"This was a terrible day." Anakin declared adding to the contrast to the previous scene.

"But we won." Jacen responded, trying to sound optimistic.

"I don't know if we could call it wining, Jacen, we lost a planet."

"We got the refugees out safely."

"That we did. We all did."

"What are you getting at, Anakin?" Jacen asked, knowing by now that everything Anakin said had a reason to be said and that Anakin was about to make his point known.

"That none of us could have done it on our own. This was a team effort, Jacen – a large team it was. We only succeeded because we all played our parts in it. You, me and Uncle Luke here; Mom, Aunt Mara, Lando, Danni and the refugees in the camp, Jaina and Rogue Squadron and the other pilots – there were so many people involved in his and we all did our job."

"I see your point, Anakin." Jacen stated trying to sound appeasing. Anakin's words were starting to sink in and Jacen was beginning to see a pattern in his recent behavior. He could see now how some of his recent actions might not have been very correct. Still, to believe he was going down the wrong path seemed a little farfetched.

"I don't know about you, Jacen, but for me it was here that everything changed. I realized just how dire our situation was. I know Chewie had already died, and that made me face the fact that we weren't immortal or anything, but here… It was here that I saw that it was really over – our innocence, our undying belief that ultimately we'd be alright. We had killed before, but not like this. This was the true turning point in my life and it was here that I decided that I would gladly lay down my life to keep them away."

Jacen nodded but silently disagreed. For him, the turning point wasn't here, it was still two years away – on the Myrkr mission – and Jacen hoped that Anakin would not take him there next.

"Don't worry, I won't." Anakin answered his unspoken thoughts, then gestured and the battle began to fade.

* * *

><p>Next thing Jacen knew, his surroundings reversed to the ample grey briefing room aboard the ship.<p>

"My job here is finished," Anakin said, "your next guide will be here any minute now."

Jacen was sorry to hear that. He wished he could have more time with Anakin, maybe talk about the After Life some more or reminisce on old stories of their childhood. He hardly had time to finish that thought when the sliding doors opened and another Force Ghost walked in.

"Anakin," Jacen demanded his brother's attention. "Don't you dare to leave me alone with him!"

-TBC…


	3. The Ghost of Present Events

**Chapter 3 - The Ghost of Present Events**

"Anakin, don't you dare to leave me alone with him!" Jacen practically shouted when he saw who the new arrival was.

The new arrival was very short and green and looked more like a garden nuisance than a Jedi Master. Even though he leaned heavily on a wooden cane, not even the blue hue surrounding him could disguise the shrewdness of his piercing eyes as they gazed up at Jacen.

The first thing Jedi Master Yoda did when he reached Jacen was swat him on the leg with his gimer cane.

"Ouch! What was that for?" Jacen demanded, rubbing his leg where it had been hit.

"Bad Jedi, you have been." Yoda accused. "Listen, you must. Leave us now, young Anakin."

Seeing his brother's pleading and even a little dreading eyes upon him, Anakin respectfully asked: "Would it be alright, Master Yoda, if I tagged along with you? I believe I can help."

Yoda studied him from top to bottom and then nodded in agreement.

"What's he doing here?" Jacen whispered to his brother.

"Master Yoda is your guide for the Present, Jacen. I thought you understood this by now." Anakin replied, maintaining a low voice.

"I got that! But why him?"

"He called dibs on it." Anakin answered like it should have been obvious.

"Too many questions, you ask. Help you to reach the light, they do not." Yoda stepped in between the two Solos, interrupting their quiet conversation. "Move now."

As Yoda directed them back to the middle of the room, his ranting continued.

"Listen, you must, and watch. Very important, this is."

Stopping before them, Yoda concentrated, lifted his hand and the grey room transfigured into a jungle.

* * *

><p>They found themselves standing next to what appeared to be a wrecked ejection seat, in the middle of what looked like a makeshift camp site. It<p>

was a very hot and humid day and Jacen, even though he wasn't physically there, began to feel the heat gnawing at him.

Before he knew it, someone was approaching and he turned to see that it was Jagged Fel.

He was coming from the left, wearing pants and a sleeveless undershirt and covered in sweat. Hanging from his left hand was his utility belt and blaster holster, with the weapon secured within, and on his right was a dead local avian, undoubtedly destined for the next meal.

Jacen already knew why Jag was there, Leia had told him in her previous comm that she and Han had been forced to destroy Jag's fighter, but he couldn't fathom why they were there.

"Your responsibility this is, young Solo." Yoda said, poking him with his gimer stick.

"Why? I didn't shoot him down."

"When you attacked the Chiss," Anakin clarified, "you precipitated a series of events in Jag's life that led him here."

"That was necessary." Jacen stated vehemently. "If I hadn't done that, then the war would have been far worse than it was. I had to make the Chiss move before they were ready."

"Attack first, Jedi do not. Mediation is the way of the Jedi, and defense."

"But it worked. There were far less casualties on either side than there would have been otherwise. I had a vision, Master Yoda, and it showed the war tearing the galaxy apart, so I acted."

"And how did you know that your actions wouldn't make things worse?" Anakin inquired.

"I just did, Anakin. And I was right - the killiks have now been neutralized, they won't bother anyone again. Now the diplomats will fix things between the Chiss and the GA and all will be fine."

Anakin paused and then asked: "What about Jag?"

"His people will come and get him."

"No, they won't."

"Abandoned by his people, your friend has been. For two years he will remain here."

Jacen felt a surge of guilt in the pit of his stomach. Jag would be stuck on this Force forsaken place for the next two years, all alone. Well, that wouldn't help to mend his relationship with the Solos.

"No, not alone." Yoda said as if he had heard Jacen's thought.

"Alema has survived and will reemerge. Angrier and more dangerous than ever." Anakin continued after the former Grand Master. "But don't worry," he added wryly, "Jag will keep her from restarting the Dark Nest."

With Anakin's words, the jungle site started to disappear and a nursery took its place.

* * *

><p>To one corner of the nursery, sitting in a large rocking chair, a woman nursed her infant child and Jacen's heart melted to the sight of his little baby girl, content in her mother's arms.<p>

"A great secret, you have been keeping, young Solo." Yoda stated, poking Jacen with his gimer stick.

Jacen knew that there was no point in denying it, it was obvious they were well informed, so he walked towards the rocking chair and stood at its side as if his physical presence was real. He placed his hand on the rim of the chair, ignoring the fact that it actually went right through it and faced the Force Ghosts defiantly.

"It is true. The baby is mine."

"Attachments. The downfall of many Jedi, they have been." Yoda declared, shaking his head reprovingly.

"That was what the old Jedi Order believed, Master Yoda." Anakin stepped in. "The new Jedi Order has found attachments to be a source of strength. I have explained this to you before, remember?"

While Yoda mumbled something about misguided younglings, Anakin came up next to Jacen and leaned over the baby and the unsuspecting Tenel Ka.

"She's so cute, Jacen! What's her name?" Anakin asked. Even though he knew the answer, he needed to direct the conversation towards the baby.

"Allana," Jacen took the bait perfectly and answered with pride.

"She looks like you."

"Yeah, she does! I only saw her once, but she captured my heart immediately." Jacen said, his eyes refusing to divert from the baby.

"Boy, Mom and Dad must have been thrilled. Well, after the initial shock that is." The younger Solo remarked, now cooing at the baby. Surprisingly, the baby seemed to be responding to him.

"Mom and Dad don't know, Anakin. And they're not going to know."

Anakin already knew this too, but nevertheless was shocked to hear his brother say it so adamantly.

"Why would you do that to them?"

"Blast it, Anakin! I'm not doing it to _them_. I'm protecting my child. Tenel Ka and I agreed it was best that no one know she's mine - it would put her in further danger. She has already had an attempt on her life."

"Help protect her, your parents would as would your uncle. Is that not the upside to attachments, huh?"

Jacen searched for an argument to refute Yoda, but somehow couldn't find one, so he just shrugged and said: "We can manage."

"You know, Jacen, Mom and Dad can really help you. I'm pretty sure they are the ultimate specialists at protecting their children in the galaxy." Anakin stated, trying to reason with Jacen.

"You seem to be forgetting, Anakin, just how many times we got in trouble."

"And we always made it through safely, Jacen. Hell, we even had fun with it."

Jacen had to snicker at that. They did have fun - there was even a time when they thought the whole thing was a game.

"Keep the child in a cage you would, if keep her from getting hurt it could. But learn nothing of life, she would then. Bad idea, that is, young Solo."

"We were targets our entire childhood because of who we were. I don't want that for my child."

"Jacen, she's already a target just for being the Queen Mother's daughter. If the idea was to keep her safe from who she is, then Tenel Ka would have to give her up to be raised in secrecy by some anonymous couple somewhere."

"Yes, to your mother and uncle, we did that. Raised by strangers, they were. Worked too, for a time."

"No, Master Yoda, it didn't. You did a terrible job at hiding them. You let my mother be raised too close to the seat of power and it almost cost her her life. As for Uncle Luke, you let him keep his surname and gave him to be raised by his step-uncle on Anakin Skywalker's planet of origin. The only reason he stayed anonymous as long as he did was that both Vader and Palpatine thought Padmé's unborn child had died with her and they never came looking." Jacen said, matter-of-factly. "Besides, Tenel Ka would never agree to that."

"Then in numbers, her safety lies."

"That's right! If you can't eliminate all the potential threats, then you bring in more people to help you protect her - people you trust implicitly. You do trust our family, don't you Jacen?"

Jacen considered Anakin's question as it resonated with the things he had already said - it was true, he did not have one single tangible reason to not trust his family and yet he was still hesitant; there was something holding him back. At first, Jacen had thought that it was the Force but that didn't feel right, it wasn't the Force that was telling him to not trust his family, but then what was it? It was like something had shattered inside of him and that something was his ability to trust.

"I'll think about it." Jacen said and Anakin thought it felt like a promise.

"Time to go, now." Yoda declared and the nursery evaporated from around them, leaving an emptiness in Jacen's chest.

A few seconds later, they found themselves in another child's bedroom.

~x~

It was dark in the bedroom - the only light coming in through the window - but the first thing Jacen noticed was that there was no blue hue. Whatever Yoda had chosen to show him was not a memory, it was happening at that same time.

In a corner of the bedroom was a bed, and in that bed someone muttered and stirred - someone was not having a peaceful sleep.

"No, no, Jacen… Don't!" The voice of Ben Skywalker broke through the silence as it rose to a new level.

At another wave of Yoda's hand, a holofilm of what Jacen assumed was Ben's dream showed up a meter from the boy's sleeping form. It showed a nightmarish version of Gorog's attack on Jacen's daughter months earlier.

It showed that particular part when the Dark Nest killiks were swarming into the nursery and the boy, struck by terror and the memory of his friendship with the bugs, had lashed out against Tenel Ka and the defender droid and Jacen, in a moment of panic of his own, had used the Force to knock him out. His method of choice had left very distinctive black marks on Ben's skin and he cringed at the site of them.

For over a month after that attack took place, Jacen had done everything he could think of to suppress it from the boy's memory, in order to keep secret his actions and the fact that Tenel Ka's daughter was his own. He had even concocted a cover story and fed it to everyone to disguise the truth.

But Ben was incredibly resistant to his memory rubbing techniques and it seemed like there was still something left of the real events inside the boy's mind.

When Ben started to whimper, Yoda reached for him and gently patted the boy on the back, sending him calm waves through the Force until he quieted down and returned to a peaceful sleep. It was then that the two Force Ghosts turned to Jacen and he felt the urge to disappear from their sight.

"Why did you do _that_ for?" Anakin started.

"He was out of control, I had to do something. He was jeopardizing my daughter."

"You Force-choked him!" Anakin practically shouted.

"I did not, I just put him to sleep!" Jacen cried out in his own defense.

"Oh, you're right, you didn't Force choke him - you choked him with your hand." Anakin spat out and the image of Ben's marked skin rose up again.

In the meantime, Yoda was studying the two brothers and looking like he was asking the Force for patience.

"You saw what happened, the bugs were there to kill Allana and Ben wouldn't let me and the droid kill them. I had to get him out of the way."

"And just what did Uncle Luke have to say about this? Or Aunt Mara?"

Jacen's silence was Anakin's answer.

"You didn't tell them!"

"Of course not. I erased Ben's memory and told them it was because Ben had seen Ewoks getting slaughtered on our camping trip."

"No wonder he has nightmares." Anakin said dryly.

"Your darkest emotions, you used and in anger you acted. Hurt the boy you did. His parents you did not inform for fear of being wrong."

"Great, now I'm being scolded in rhyme," Jacen said to himself. "Look, I couldn't tell them without revealing Allana's relationship to me - we've already been through this."

"Something else, you are hiding, young Solo. Something you did not want revealed." Yoda affirmed and waved his hand once more.

Another dream appeared over Ben's sleeping form and the boy stirred again.

~x~

Through Ben's eyes, they saw Jacen telling him to stand guard and then disappearing behind a door. After a little while, Ben heard guards coming and hurried to warn Jacen.

Ben stepped into Ta'a Chume's room just as a loud bang was heard from the outside and in time to watch Jacen's next move.

_"We're out of time," _Ben heard Jacen say to the former Queen Mother._ "Tell me why I shouldn't kill you now-"_

_"If I die, Tenel Ka is a target. If I am imprisoned, if I am disgraced... Tenel Ka is a target. If you want your daughter to grow up with a mother, Jacen, you must spare me. That is the only way."_

Ben sensed the anger build up inside Jacen and felt it erupt through his Force sense. Suddenly, he couldn't recognize his cousin.

_"Not the only way, there is another." _Jacen said to the woman he was now grabbing physically and through the Force.

Next thing Ben knew, his cousin was forcing his Force presence hard into the old woman's mind, tearing apart neurons and synapses and rendering it void.

When Jacen rose and turned to face Ben, his face was deformed in a scowl and his eyes looked shone in a yellow tone.

~x~

The dream ended abruptly as Ben awoke with a scream that made the two ghosts and Jacen jump back.

As the boy got out of bed and ran out of the room, undoubtedly seeking comfort from who ever was taking care of him, the two ghosts turned their cold and angry gaze back to Jacen and he knew he was in for it.

The punch Anakin threw landed square on Jacen's jaw and made him crash on the floor.

"You great big idiot!" Anakin cried out. "How could you do that?"

"She tried to kill my daughter, Anakin. She sent the killiks to kill Allana." Jacen backfired, standing up and grabbing his now even sorer abdomen.

"So you destroy her? Jacen, don't you realize what you did?"

"To the dark side you went." Yoda accused and then swung his gimer stick at Jacen's leg.

The elder Solo tried to stop the wooden cane from hitting him by grabbing hold of it, but its ghostly form wouldn't allow for it to be caught and his hand went right through its handle. This surprised Jacen a great deal because the thing had no problem connecting to his leg.

"How did-" He started to ask.

"Not important that is." Yoda interrupted, poking him with the cane and standing between the two brothers. "Bad Jedi!"

"She. Tried. To. Kill. My. Daughter."

"Strike in anger, you did. Lost your inner balance, you did."

"Ok then, what was I supposed to do?"

"Expose her, take her to court. Put her behind bars." Anakin suggested, trying to regain his calm. Getting upset was not going to help to get the message across. If anything, it was counterproductive.

"You heard her, that would have meant placing a target on Tenel Ka's back, and my daughter's."

"And this doesn't? Do you think Ta'a Chume as a vegetable can protect Tenel Ka in any way?"

"I did what I had to do to protect my child. And she deserved even worse than she got for trying to hurt Allana." Jacen fumed.

"You think she deserved this for hurting your loved ones?" Anakin asked, looking for a confirmation.

"Yes, I do!"

"Condemn her you do, for hurting your loved ones. Remember that." Yoda affirmed while Ben's room dissolved back into the grey briefing room and Jacen knew that the trip to the present was over.

- TBC…

* * *

><p><strong>AN 1:** I decided to have Yoda stand as the Ghost of Present Events because who else could poke and hit Jacen with a cane and get away with it. That and I adore him. And let's face it, Jacen is in dire need of a beating.

**A/N 2:** The italics in speech from Ben's dream were borrowed from _The Unseen Queen_. For those who did not read the DNT: It is not stated anywhere in the DNT that Ben actually witnessed Jacen frying Ta'a Chume's brain, but it Jacen did have him stand guard and he did erase Ben's memory. I merely took a leap of logic there.


	4. The Ghost of Future Events

**A/N:** For this chapter I owe a huge thanks to Wookieepedia, because of the hours I spent researching there. You see, I refuse to read anything past the DNT so I have no first hand knowledge of what I'm talking about . Therefore forgive me if I made any serious or even minor mistakes. Thanks for reading!

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 4 - The Ghost of Future Events<strong>

When the room around them was once again grey, the entrance opened and another Force Ghost appeared. It was at that moment that Jacen knew for sure that he was _not_ dreaming. If he were this would be the moment to wake up because, on the other side of the door, stood the black clad figure of Darth Vader.

'I am in so much trouble.' Jacen thought to himself. If his guide to the future was to be Lord Vader, then it must be grim indeed.

As Vader came to join the others, and before he could say or do anything at all, Jacen thought to stop the whole thing before it started again.

"Wait, wait, stop!" Jacen practically shouted. He was having a very bad feeling about what would happen next and he really would rather just call it a night and go back to his room. He knew he had done badly by Ben and he was willing to admit that maybe his actions during the whole Dark Nest crisis may have been somewhat out of line, but did this really have to continue?

"Look, if I concede that I've been misbehaving and promise to mend my ways, can we cut this short? I'm in pain and I'm tired, and I'm even a little nauseous - I just wanna get back to bed and rest."

"Do not expect any sympathy from us, young Solo. You still have much to learn." Vader affirmed and Jacen could feel the full weight of his gaze even through the black mask.

"You know, Jacen-", Anakin whispered to his brother, "Lord Vader here would love to hear about your understanding of the existence of the Dark Side of the Force."

Jacen looked at his deceased brother in complete astonishment. Was Anakin really suggesting that Jacen bring up that particular subject with the Sith Lord? He didn't have time to dwell on it because apparently Sith Lords had a very good ear and Lord Vader turned back and pinned his masked eyes on his grandsons.

"What did you say?"

"Oh, nothing." Jacen answered, not willing to discuss the subject.

"Jacen doesn't believe that there is a Dark Side to the Force." Anakin decided to clarify. This was an important point in Jacen's fall and therefore should be addressed as such.

"What foolishness is this, now?" Yoda demanded, standing between Jacen and the others and forcing him to take a step back.

"The Jedi have come to understand that the Force is One, it is not Light and Dark." The elder Solo began explaining.

"Really?" Vader remarked, seeming interested. "Explain."

Jacen search for the right words in order to sound convincing, but all the arguments he was used to rely on now seemed feeble when staring at Vader's mask. "It means that is not a bad thing to draw on the Force while under the influence of strong emotions-"

"Such as?" The Sith inquired and Jacen noticed the other two ghosts' piqued interest in the discussion.

"Anger and fear. Passion, maybe." Jacen answered him sounding unsure.

"Are you saying that I was not under the influence of the Dark Side when I Force-choked my wife and threw her across the room? Or when I slew the younglings at the temple?"

"I didn't say that," Jacen quickly countered. "What you did to Padmé and the kids was very wrong. All I'm saying is that the final objective can justify the use of certain techniques. Your attack on Padmé was just an outlet of your anger-"

"But my strike on the children did serve a purpose, and that was the destruction of the Jedi Order as commanded by my Master. And how would you rate torturing prisoners when it's meant to make them disclose important information or destroying a whole world?"

At this point, Jacen had to face that he had dug for himself a very deep hole and the worse part was he had already jumped inside.

"Who taught you this philosophy?" Vader asked.

"That would be Vergere," Anakin volunteered in his brother's stead.

"The Fosh? A bad Jedi she was. Not respectful of her elders, challenge us she would and undermine our teaching."

"She was also one of Palpatine's apprentices, but apparently they didn't see eye to eye on some things and then she took off." The Dark Lord remarked. "Obi-Wan and I went looking for her."

This revelation stunned Jacen to the core. Not that Anakin Skywalker and Kenobi had gone out looking for Vergere, he already knew that, but that she was once apprenticed to Palpatine himself - she had never mentioned that to him and he wondered why. It seemed like too important information to hide and yet, she had.

'Way to put some things in perspective', Jacen thought.

"Wrong she was, in what she taught you, young Solo. The Force is whole, yes. But it is colored by the user. If dark are your feelings, than you will use the Force in its darkest form, but if in light you remain, than a beacon in the Force you will become and righteous will be you path."

Jacen heard Yoda's words and, despite his earlier beliefs, they rang true to him.

The Ghosts allowed him a moment to ponder and then announced their journey through the future would start.

~x~

Jacen felt the Force gathering around Vader and then images started to emerge around them once more. But this time, the experience was completely different from the others – this time it was like his life was flashing before his eyes.

At first, Jacen wondered if the ghosts were seeing this the same way he did, but then that really didn't matter and soon nothing more than the images registered in his mind.

As the rapid succession of images condensed and fainted around him, Jacen realized what they were – his life… his future, one event after another.

He saw himself in charge of an Intelligence Agency, assigning missions to his agents and to himself… his cousin Ben still under his tutelage, taking all his words to heart, trusting him… multiple visits to Tenel Ka and Allana, bittersweet moments when secrecy was adamant… the start of a new threat from Corellia and the beginning of a new war… a meeting with a suspicious female who turned out to be the dark Lady of the Sith.

Next, Jacen saw himself accepting the Sith, Lumiya, as his new Master… his decision to turn Ben into his new Sith apprentice… the World Brain's death… an assassination attempt on Tenel Ka, that prompted him to issue an arrest warrant on his own parents… his growing belief that a sacrifice was needed to prove himself as a Sith… his realization that he no longer had a consciousness… staging and executing a coup on the Chief of State and then taking on the position… the orchestration of an assassination and Ben's role in it…

The speed of the images slowed and Jacen watched as his future self faced off his Aunt Mara in a violent match of Force and physical strength. She had come after him because of the things he had made her son do, and he had used her feeling for Ben against her - and then he had killed her.

Both Jacens watched as Mara slowly died. Future Jacen trying to make her understand why it had to be this way while Present Jacen just stared in shock over both the deed and Mara's words. Because even though they were hardly whispers, he heard her words loud and clear.

_"You're... as vile as he was." _

_"Who?"_He heard himself ask.

_"Palpatine."_

"She's right, you know." Vader spoke from next to Jacen, startling him. He had forgotten where he was and what he was doing, being so absorbed by the flowing images. "At this point, you will be as vile as Palpatine was. I should know. And, by the way, killing your aunt doesn't count as a sacrifice. Your true sacrifice was your soul, Jacen, and that was already lost."

Jacen tore his eyes from his Aunt's dying form to look at the ghostly Sith Lord and was surprised to see him gone. In his stead stood, young and blond, Anakin Skywalker now free from his black armor. His blue eyes, pinned on Jacen and bore the only outward sign of his troubled existence. They were filled with sadness for his lost life.

Jacen looked around, looking for the other two ghosts and fearful to face the painful disappointment in his brother's face but found them nowhere.

"They left," the elder Anakin informed. "They did not want to witness your future."

"I don't want either." Jacen spoke, his voice strained with the weight of the images before him. In front of him, Mara took her last breath and both his future and his present self felt her passing in the Force.

Now other images assaulted Jacen, not ones being displayed for him to see, but memories and stories he had heard all his life. The one that stuck out the most, and always had impressed him, was the one of how Mara had saved him and Jaina from Thrawn and C'baoth mere days after his birth. At the time, Mara's deepest desire was to kill his Uncle Luke, as dictated by her former master's last command, but still found it in her heart to save her target's newborn niece and nephew despite the fact that almost no one seemed to trust her.

How many times after that had Mara come to their rescue, his and his family's? Too many to count was the answer. Just a few days ago, and albeit she was severely wounded herself, Mara had patched up his own almost fatal injury. He didn't need a Healer to tell him that, without her help, he would probably be dead.

But he had killed her. Or he _would _kill her.

"We can't stop yet." The ghost told him, interrupting his recollections and making the images speed up again.

"Where's your suit?" Jacen asked, not sure he wanted to hear the answer.

"You took it, Jacen. You're the Sith now, you _are_ Darth Caedus." Anakin replied pointing at the younger man.

Jacen looked down to find himself dressed in Vader's black clad armor. Noticing his own hand was holding the back helmet, he released it to the floor willing it to disappear. It did not.

Before him, the images were showing Mara's funeral and he saw his future self walking in, dressed in a black clad uniform, a black cape on his back and a black helmet in his hand. A true image of Vader's heir.

"No!" Jacen wanted to refuse his future, he wanted it to stop and he tried to use the Force to make it stop, but it wouldn't.

Next he watched as Caedus dispatched his troops to raid the Jedi Academy on Ossus and almost killing his old teachers Kam and Tionne - people the old Jacen look up to and even loved.

As he watched his future self instructing Tahiri into the ways of the Sith, Jacen understood why his little brother would not stay with him any longer.

The images continued to pass and Jacen watched as the Sith he would become ordered his flagship to rain fire down on Kashyyyk - his beloved childhood refuge, destroying Chewbacca's old home and his memorial and killing countless Wookiees. He swore he could recognize some as old play partners.

"NO!" He heard himself scream.

Then he was standing next to Caedus, while the Sith strapped Ben to the Embrace of Pain, torturing him to bring out the boy's own dark side. How long it passed until Luke Skywalker came busting in, he couldn't tell, but before the end of that fight, Jacen whished his uncle or his cousin would just kill the Sith and make the images end. Yet they did not and he had to wonder why.

The words Yoda had spoken came back to him, _"Condemn her you do, for hurting your loved ones." _

But Caedus had hurt Luke's loved ones - he had killed his wife and tortured his son, not to mention the pain it would have brought to Leia and Han the knowledge of what their son had done.

"What do you think I should do to you for what you have done to the ones I love?" Anakin inquired coldly. "Do you have any idea how much pain your actions have brought, not only to Luke, but to your parents - to your mother? Did you know that Leia didn't want to have children for fear that they might take after _me_? Do you know how much it pains me to see her hurt like this?"

Feelings of shame and sorrow filled Jacen's Force presence and Anakin took it as his answer.

The images kept fast forwarding and next thing Jacen knew, Caedus had taken his daughter from her mother in retaliation for her taking sides against him. When Caedus threatened to kill Allana if Tenel Ka didn't turn control of the Hapan military over to him, Jacen actually tried to strike him down only to land on the floor a few feet away.

Jacen's heart crumbled when he heard his daughter cry out that she hated him after witnessing his uncontrollable dark rage. His tears began falling freely.

"Why don't they stop me?" He asked in a constricted voice.

"They will now."

It was then that Jacen saw Jaina moving on Caedus and stabbing him in the abdomen. The pain coursed through Jacen's entire body, adding to the still unhealed lightsaber wound and Jacen thought he would black out from it. That darkness would have been welcome, yet it did not happen as Anakin standing next to him did not allow it and Jacen went on watching as his twin battled her brother.

"Why did it have to be Jaina?" Jacen asked. It seemed to him that that was Caedus' ultimate evil action - to have the one person that shared a twin bond with him kill him. Once closer than anyone would think possible, Jaina and Jacen would battle each other to the death - just like the Yuuzhan Vong had wanted.

As their duel continued, Jacen's pain, both physical and emotional escalated, being fed not only by the multiple injuries his future self suffered but also the ones sustained by his sister and the hurt he had brought the galaxy.

When Jaina lunged her final blow at Caedus, Jacen fell unconscious on the floor.

- TBC...


	5. The Morning After

**Chapter 5 - The Morning After**

"Jacen… Jacen! Jacen, can you hear me?"

It was a high-pitched squeaky voice that was bringing Jacen back into consciousness and when he opened his eyes, he found himself staring at a golden-brown snout. It took him a minute to recognize his colleague and Healer, the Chandra-Fan Tekli.

"He's waking up, now." The Healer informed.

"Oh, thank the Force!" Another female voice responded.

That voice Jacen had no trouble recognizing - it was that of his Aunt Mara, the Aunt Mara he had killed… _'Oh, Gods!'_As Jacen's eyes began to open, he saw the both of them looking down on him from above. It took another minute for him to realize that he was lying on the floor and far longer for him to acknowledge where he was and what was going on.

While still attempting to form coherent thought, Jacen felt his body being lifted onto a hover-gurney and heard Tekli issuing commands to the other medics. He tried to look around and noticed that they were still at that decommissioned briefing room where the ghost of his little brother had guided him.

"Jacen, I need you to stay still." He heard Tekli tell him. "I don't know what you've been up to for the night, but you've managed to tare open your wound and I think you have some internal bleeding."

Jacen almost laughed at her assessment. The last thing he remembered was dying at the hand of his sister and now Tekli was telling him he was bleeding internally - he should be dead, he deserved to be dead. They should just let him die and be done with it.

As the medics took him away, he caught a glimpse of Mara sitting on her hoverchair. "I'm sorry, Aunt Mara! I'm so, so sorry." He cried out before they turned the corner.

* * *

><p>Several hours had passed until Jacen awoke again. He found himself back on his bed in the med ward with several tubes coming out of his arms and Aunt Mara sitting next to him.<p>

"Hi, Jacen. How're you feeling?" She asked, concern showing in her voice.

"Not so well." He answered, running a quick check on himself. His aches were duller now and he felt numb all over. "What happened?"

"Tekli rushed you back to surgery. She said it was like you had been put through a meat grinder. What were you doing there, Jacen?"

Images flowed back into his mind. Memories of the awful things he had seen - he had done. For instants, Jacen wondered if the whole thing had been a terrible nightmare and that he had somehow sleepwalked all the way to the briefing room, but he quickly put those thoughts aside. Even if it had been a dream, the events he had witnessed were still his future, and the Force had shown them to him for a reason.

"I think the Force sent me a message," he began explaining, but still not being quite sure how, "it was very _powerful_. I guess it hit me hard."

"I think you need to rest."

"Yeah, I do, and to meditate." He said, taking a deep breath.

"You do that. We'll be arriving on Coruscant in a few hours so I'll leave you until then."

"Aunt Mara - have we heard anything else from my parents on the _Megador_?"

"No, we'll comm the _Megador _when we revert to realspace."

"But they're still there, right? In the _Nebula_?"

Mara took a moment to reach to her husband in the Force. "Yes, they're still there."

"Could you call me when we comm them?"

"Sure, Jacen." Mara didn't ask why her nephew was so eager to talk to his parents, but she was certain it had something to do with whatever message he had received.

Jacen watched as Mara directed her hoverchair out of his room and left him alone with his thoughts.

He wasn't alone for long.

* * *

><p>A few moments later, just as Jacen opened himself to the Force and began his meditation, he felt a presence in the room. He opened his eyes and saw, looking at him from the foot of the bed, the ghostly figure of Anakin Skywalker.<p>

Jacen's heart sank at the sight of the Force Ghost. Undoubtedly there was more to be seen, more events in his future to regret.

"What will you show me, now?" He asked, not feeling comfortable about calling Anakin by his given name or even 'grandfather'.

"You've already seen all you were meant to see, Jacen. I just came to see how you were."

"Why would you care, after everything?"

"I care because you are my grandson. I've shown you your future not because I mean you harm, but because I believe you can still tread the right path."

"So there's still hope for me?"

"Of course there is, Jacen! You have taken your first steps on the dark path, but there is still time to turn back. I was in much deeper than you are and I still found my way back to the light, all you have to do is be willing to change."

"It was you, wasn't it - that set the whole thing up?" Jacen asked, a sudden realization dawning on him.

"I pulled some strings," Anakin admitted somberly. "You have to understand, Jacen, I never had a chance to do anything for my children – anything good, that is – so if I can help with this, then I owe it to them to do it."

"I thank you for that." Jacen replied, truly grateful.

"Don't thank me. You have been given a chance to mend your ways. Take it!" Anakin stated in a commanding voice. "But bear in mind, Jacen – if you still fall, I'll be back and it won't be pretty. If you hurt my family, I will make you regret the day you were born, boy."

Just as Anakin was starting to fade away, Jacen called out to him: "Wait, there is something else I'd like to talk to you about."

Anakin came back and looked at Jacen inquisitively, waiting for him to speak.

"Some time ago – a few years – I had a vision, which has been sort of a… something that needed to be stopped. I've been attempting to do just that, but now I'm at a loss. With all you showed me last night, I'm no longer sure of how to act."

Jacen's words of a vision brought old memories back to Anakin, terrible memories. "You know, I had a vision once – well I had many visions, but this one I did everything in my power to stop it from happening. I learned new techniques, I listened to someone whom I believed was the wisest man alive, I cut myself from my friend – from the people who I know now would have helped me. And in the end, everything I did only caused my vision to come true."

"You're talking about Padmé, aren't you? About her death."

"Yes," Anakin nodded and kept his eyes down. "I foresaw she would die during labor. And in the end she did die right after giving birth, but because of me. So, as you can see, trying to stop visions from happening tends to be a double-bladed vibroblade."

"I see!" Jacen sounded a bit disappointed.

"The right thing to do about these things, I have learned, is to talk to someone worthy of your trust about them." Then remembering his own misjudgments about the person he had chosen to trust, Anakin added: "Actually, you should seek advice from more than one person, and you can start practicing now. Tell me your vision, Jacen."

Gathering whatever was left of his courage, Jacen began explaining the vision he had had some years prior.

"I saw a man. It seemed like I should know who he was, but I can't really place him. He had a dark aura about him and he was surrounded by minions, and he was sitting on a golden throne – like a ruler."

"This man – was he human?" Anakin asked, clearly interested.

"I think so, but I can't be sure."

"Was he a Sith?"

"Yes, there was definitely something very Sith-like about him. I got the impression he would bring about an age of darkness to the galaxy. That what I've been trying to stop."

"Jacen, stopping someone like that isn't a one-man job." Anakin pointed out, matter-of-factly.

"What if…" Jacen paused, his thoughts pointing to a terrible realization. "I did… I mean will… huh this is confusing."

"Go on." Anakin insisted. He wanted whatever Jacen had thought of to be out in the open, even though he had already guessed what he was trying to say.

"I became a Sith. Could that man be me?"

"It's possible, you were certainly on your way to something like that. In fact, at the time of your death, you were already ruling a big part of the galaxy." Anakin had to admit. "But even if it wasn't you, and this dark man is still coming sometime in the future, going dark yourself will not bring him down – all you would accomplish would be to destroy the ones that could stop him."

"The Order?"

"A strong Order, yes. The one Luke is trying to build. And you should be helping him, not undermining him. It's like Yoda and your brother said last night: you should put your trust in your family, they _are _trustworthy and you will not find better councilors anywhere else. And you need to rebuild your bond with your sister, Jacen. You're both better together than apart."

Jacen nodded, he had already decided to do just that.

"Ok then, you take care, Jacen. You look awful. And be _good_!"

And thus Anakin Skywalker vanished into thin air.

* * *

><p>A couple of hours later, Jacen felt the hum of the massive hyperdrive subside and knew they had just arrived in the Coruscant System and a few minutes after that his Aunt Mara came in, accompanied by the Communications Officer and bringing a portable comm station, since there was none in the makeshift med ward and it wasn't advisable, by medical standards, that Jacen should go to the main comm center.<p>

After it was set up, the Officer punched in the _Megador's _comm codes and they watched as his counterpart aboard the other ship contacted the Solos' quarters. A few minutes later, they were greeted by the familiar face belonging to Leia Solo.

"Mom!" Jacen greeted, his mood lifting immediately.

"Hi, sweetheart. Hi, Mara. How are you two doing?"

"Hey, Leia! We're doing much better. Well, at least I am, Jacen had a bumpy night."

"Did something happen?" Leia countered, worry showing in her voice.

"It was nothing to worry about," Jacen answered quickly. He had every intention of explaining the previous night's events thoroughly, but now wasn't the time. Then again, maybe he would have to explain it to some extent before the end of this comm call.

"Is Luke there?" Mara asked, looking forward to seeing and speaking with her husband.

"I think he's resting." Leia said, then turned and shouted, "Han, could you get Luke. Mara's asking for him."

They didn't hear Han's answer but Leia turned back to them smiling.

"Actually, can you call Jaina, too. I have something important to say and it's just easier to tell everyone at once." Jacen stated, deciding there was no time like the present to start trekking the right path. He already knew he'd have to start by coming clean with his family.

"Sure, wait a moment." Leia replied and grabbed her portable comm. Mara and Jacen could clearly hear her talking to Jaina. After terminating the comm call, Leia turned back to them saying: "She'll be right here, but you'll probably have Zekk here, too," she snickered.

Because of having been absorbed into the killik collective mind, Jaina and Zekk had become significantly closer, to the point of sharing thoughts and finishing each other's sentences. It was a disconcerting behavior and it couldn't be terminated abruptly, especially being in each other's presence. Luke was already planning, along with Cilghal, what would be the best way to end it, but in the meantime it was certain that wherever one was, the other would be too.

"So, what's going on there?" Mara asked, letting her curiosity take over. She wasn't used to being away from the center of action and she did not care for it.

"The Chis have agreed to the terms we proposed for as long as the colony stays subdued and they are taking off as we speak." Leia related to them. "The Jedi are about half way through seeding the killik worlds with the nanotech agent that will keep the bugs subdued. After that, we can go home. Luke says it should be about another week."

"What about Jag?" Jacen then asked, remembering that he had seen Jag on Tenupe during Yoda's voyage through the present. The notion that Jag could be left there for two whole years was not a pleasant one – at least not to the Jacen that had woken up this morning.

"They didn't find him, yet." Leia said, her spirits dwindling. She genuinely cared for the young man. "Aristocra Formbi said he's stuck in a deep rift valey and that a rescue craft can't reach him. They sent a team to look for him on foot, but…" Leia shook her head – she wasn't holding her breath.

"Why not send the Jedi in?" Mara suggested. "I'm sure Luke won't mind."

"He offered to help. But Formbi cut us at the knee. He said he does not need or want help from the Jedi. He says we've done enough already."

"They're not going to find him." Jacen affirmed, regret showing in his stance. "I think we should help anyway. You said they were leaving already, if we wait until they're all gone, we can go in and get him."

"Why are you so committed to this, Jacen?" A male voice sounded just before another holo started floating before Jacen and Mara. It was Luke.

Jacen was not taken aback by the question. "I feel it's my responsibility, Uncle Luke. I took the first shot at the Chiss that prompted their attack and started the blown out war. And Jag is a friend, or used to be – I for one would like to rekindle his friendship."

"_Now_you care?" A third voice sounded, this time female. It was soon accompanied by the holo belonging to Jaina, with Zekk standing behind her.

"I had a wake-up call, Jaina. I was shown the error of my ways and would like to redeem myself. That is why I asked for this reunion of the family."

Jacen's statement brought out a wave of interest and surprise from all. Everyone wanted to know what he was talking about and to what was due this sudden change in his demeanor.

"Last night I had a message from the Force. Maybe message is an understatement, I think I could say that the Force grabbed me by the ankles and knocked some sense into me." Jacen still wasn't ready to tell his family that he had seen himself turning into a Sith, but he was ready to admit to his present wrongs.

"But first of all, I need to tell you that I have reason to believe that if we don't get Jag out of Tenupe, he'll be stranded there for years. And I can also tell you that it is highly likely that Alema survived even this last mishap and that once she recovers, she'll be back to wreak havoc. So we should probably look for her too."

This statement worried all of them. Jag was considered a good and reliable friend by all of them and Jaina still harbored strong feelings about him, it hurt her that he ended up getting caught in the middle of all this and was afraid they would never be able to mend those broken bridges. As for Alema, she had grown exponentially more dangerous and enraged with time and was now so deep in the dark side that no one thought she could be redeemed – not even Luke, but he was still willing to try once more.

"I'll put together a Jedi task force to look for them." Luke declared and looking at his sister and her family, he added: "Should I count you guys in?"

"Yes, of course," was the immediate answer from all the Solos.

Taking a deep breath, Jacen prepared for his next step towards the light.

"Jaina," he started gathering his thoughts and translating them into words, "I want to apologize to you about my behavior since I got back. I literally pushed you away and retreaded myself from our bond. I know that hurt you and I'm very sorry. I'll do anything to prove that I want to reclaim you as my twin."

Jaina was completely taken aback by Jacen's statement. She had not seen this coming but she could tell he meant every word because, in the back of her head, she felt their old twin bond reawaking, not in a pushy way but in a way that said _'May I?' _and she was touched by the gentleness of the gesture.

Still Jacen continued with his apology.

"You were right to suspect me, I was not truthful in our previous meetings. Which brings me to another apology, and this for a much more serious offense."

At this point, Jacen turned to Luke and Mara, looking to either one in turns.

"Aunt Mara, Uncle Luke – I'm truly sorry. I have flat out lied to you and have abused your trust."

Both Mara and Luke looked at each other through the holos and silently agreed to let him continue uninterrupted.

"I told you that I had manipulated Ben's memory so he wouldn't be scarred by a vicious attack on Ewoks he had witnessed when we were camping on Endor. There was no attack and we only when to Endor after I started on the memory rubbing."

Noticing that his aunt and uncle were letting him continue, for which Jacen was very thankful for even if his aunt's eyes had become increasingly cold, he went on.

"We were on Hapes – Tenel Ka had asked for me and I took Ben – when the killiks broke into the Queen's Rooms and tried to kill the baby." Jacen was aware that everybody there knew about the attack. "He got a little out of hand and I used the Force through my fear and anger, to shut him up."

If Mara's eyes were cold before, now they were practically shooting lasers at him. He knew it was only his uncle's calming influence that was keeping her from lashing at him. What Jacen was afraid of now was that Luke's calm would end at his next disclosure.

"After that, and Ben had recovered, I got him to stand guard while I visited Ta'a Chume. We – Tenel Ka and I – had already come to the conclusion that it was her that was behind the attack. So, I went to confront her and she confessed, and then she threatened Tenel Ka and Allana and I lost it."

Jacen was feeling so nervous now, he had to draw on the Force to help him go on. He found that it would be easier if he just spit it out, not beating around the bush.

"I lost it completely and I fried her brain. I turned Ta'a Chume into a vegetable."

Everyone was silent, their faces and Force-senses filled with shock. They all knew Jacen was treading a strange path, but no one thought it would have been such a dark one.

"I'm sorry for disappointing you all. And, Uncle Luke… I mean, Grand Master Skywalker, I will subject myself to whatever punishment you see fit. There is only one more thing I need to say and that to my parents – Allana is my daughter, she is your granddaughter. Tenel Ka and I have kept it a secret because we feared that being identified as my child would make Allana even more of a target than she already is. But I'd still like you all to be a part of her life and I'm sure you'll help us find a way to protect her."

"Of course we will." Han spoke for the first time, being the first to recover from the shock of Jacen's revelations.

Jacen nodded gratefully. He saw that his mother was way too flustered to speak and Jaina was just looking agape at him, her shadow Zekk, gone from behind her. Aunt Mara, in her hoverchair next to him, was so quiet that he wondered if this was the proverbial calm before the storm. His Uncle Luke was the second to recover.

"I appreciate your candor, Jacen, and I'll take it under consideration. Because you're recuperating from serious injuries I'm now ordering you to remain in your quarters and meditate on your actions. Should you recover before we come back, you are to present yourself to the Temple and stay there, meditating, until I arrive. I expect a full report when we meet. Take care, Jacen."

With that farewell, all holos blacked out and the comm call was terminated. Jacen turned to look at his aunt and found her already leaving. Jacen understood that she had a lot to process, they all did, and despite the overall mood at the end of his account, he felt better now than he did in months. He was sure he had taken the first steps along the path of righteousness.

-TBC…


	6. Path to Redemption

**Chapter 6 – Path to Redemption**

In the end, it took the _Megador_ a whole other week to return to Coruscant with the Jedi, but their work in Wild Space was finished. They had succeeded in spreading the nanotech technology that would keep the killik population under control and they had located and rescued both Jag and Alema.

Through that time, Jacen took to following his uncle's command, spending most of his time in secluded meditation. He thought about seeking out his aunt and asking for her forgiveness for what he had done to her son, but decided against it – she needed time to process the knowledge, just like the rest of the family did and it wouldn't be fair to deny her that just because she was a few rooms away. Besides, Jacen could feel in the Force that even though she was still mad at him, the sentiment was subsiding leaving behind a sense of disappointment. This was not a pleasant notion, but Jacen knew it was completely asked for.

So, when Ben Skywalker showed up wanting to visit him - he had somehow convinced Mirax that they should go to Coruscant to be with their families faster - Jacen knew he had to direct the boy back to his mom. Mara would not stand for their continuing relationship.

"Hey, kid! How're things?" Jacen started when Ben came up to him.

"Ok, I guess." The boy replied in a low and hesitant tone and Jacen realized that Mara had already told Ben about the end of their rapport.

"Does your mom know you're here?"

Ben shook his head in a negative and uttered an almost inaudible "Nuh-uh."

"She said we can't hang out anymore, she wouldn't even tell me why. It's not fair!" The nine year-old stated, in that impertinent pre-adolescent tone used universally by kids when they don't get their way. He was probably thinking he was being punished for something so Jacen knew he had to set things straight.

"Don't say that, Ben. Your mom is right."

Ben looked at him with a mix of surprise and disappointment. Obviously he wasn't expecting his cool cousin to side with his parents.

"The thing is - I did something bad, not you. I did something I'm not proud of and, until I can prove myself to them again, your parents are correct in keeping you away from me."

"What did you do?"

"I hurt people, Ben. And even though you don't remember, I hurt you… and then I made you forget."

Ben was even more confused now. "How?"

Jacen wasn't sure if this was an appropriate subject for a nine year-old but he had never treated Ben like a kid and he didn't think now was a good time to start.

"I used the Force to erase your memory. It's what's been giving you nightmares."

"Oh."

Jacen could practically see the boy working out this new information in his head and he hoped it wouldn't hurt him even more.

"Ben – I think you should go back to your mom, now. And if she asks you where you've been, don't lie. Lying only makes things worse. Ok?"

"Ok."

"And one more thing: about the Force, there is no one anywhere that can teach you how to deal with it better than your dad, and I know he'll love to help you. You should let him."

"Ok. See you around, Jacen."

"See you around, Ben."

When his young cousin left, Jacen found himself hoping he would have to stay away from the boy for very long time.

* * *

><p>A few days later, it was with a great sense of joy that Jacen saw his sister coming towards him. He was in the Temple's gardens trying to convince a rock lizard to eat out of his hand. Once upon a time this would not have been a problem - Jacen had even once had one such lizard as a pet - but now it seemed that the little creature was just too scared of him. It made Jacen wonder if it could tell what he had been up to.<p>

"Making new friends, Jacen?" Jaina said with a touch of snark. Still, Jacen thought that the simple fact that she was there to see him was a good sign.

"I'm working on it." He replied, offering a smile. "Are Mom and Dad here?"

"Yeah, they're helping Master Cilghal set up cells with medical gear for Raynar and Alema. And Uncle Luke went to see Aunt Mara."

Jacen nodded at that information. "What about Jag?"

"He's still mad at us, but the biggest problem now is that he can't go home," Jaina reported. "We contacted his father and, because of all the trouble we caused, the Fels took a heavy beating."

"Because they were forced to pay for all the damage we made to the Chiss." Jacen remembered.

"Yes, so now they're just about broke and the General told Jag that he should not return to the Ascendency. The Fels have fallen in disgrace among the Chiss."

"And now Jag's homeless." Jacen concluded, feeling terrible about all the trouble he had caused.

"You weren't the only one to cause trouble for them. I did my fair share of it. And then Mom and Dad shot Jag down." Jaina commented, sensing his misgivings through their newly reformed twin bond.

"Yeah! The Fels must really _love_ us Solos."

"The General was grateful that we got his son out of that tropical hellhole. But I don't think he's ready to shake our hands and call it even just yet."

"We'll have to work on that."

Jaina was agreeing with him when they saw their parents coming their way.

Jacen got up from the bench they were sitting on and hurried to meet them.

As soon as they were within arm's length, he wrapped his arms around his mother and would have picked her up if he wasn't still recovering from his injuries. His words to her were more felt than heard since he had buried his face in her hair.

"I'm sorry Mom! I promise to do better, I do." He vowed.

When they finally parted, there were tears running down their eyes and Leia held his face and kissed her son's cheek gently.

"I know you will," she told him and he was touched by her vow of confidence.

When Jacen turned to his father, he saw Leia's vow reflected in him and knew he still had, and would always have, his parents love.

He returned their vow with his own, swearing that he would never hurt them again.

They spent the rest of the morning planning a trip to Hapes, along with a good cover story, to meet the newest member of the family.

* * *

><p>Later that day, Jacen was called to the Grand Master's office.<p>

As he entered the room, he found his Uncle Luke sitting at the desk, his blue eyes locked on him as he approached. Jacen could tell just how hurt his uncle had been by his actions.

Luke stood up before Jacen could take a seat in front of him.

"This will be fast, Jacen. I just called you here to tell you that I called a meeting of the Masters Council to discuss your actions for a week from today. I want to be prepared to recount everything to them and to ask whatever questions might come up."

As Jacen bowed down respectfully and turned to leave, Luke added: "I want you to know that you coming forth and assuming your mistakes counts a lot in your behalf."

"Thank you, Sir." Jacen said, bowing again.

* * *

><p>All things considered, the week went by rather quickly and when Jacen was again summoned, this time to the meeting room, he wasn't sure if he was very calm or very nervous. He took the chance to reflect on his feeling while walking to the meeting room and came to the conclusion that he was calm about giving his account and answering questions, since he knew the truth could only bring him relief, but was nervous about the outcome of the meeting. Deep down, Jacen was afraid to be expelled from the Order.<p>

By the end of the meeting, which lasted several hours as every Master had had several questions, Jacen was feeling exhausted but seriously relieved. He waited in the garden for the Council's ruling, with his sister and parents. He was surprised to see Ben coming and even more when the boy told him his mom and dad had allowed him to come.

When he was called back in, the Council's decision was revealed to him by the Grand Master.

"Jedi Knight Jacen Solo, the Masters Council has unanimously agreed that, despite your recent past actions and misuse of the Force, and considering that you chose to come forth voluntarily, you may officially maintain your Jedi Knight title, but you will unofficially report to and accompany a Master. You are to defer to him on all accounts just as if you were still an Apprentice. This situation will continue until the Master in charge reports that you have been redeemed. Do you understand what has been stipulated?"

"Yes, Sir! I do."

"Good! You shall report to Master Durron and accompany him on his missions."

"Yes, Sir! Thank you."

Jacen was a happy man when he left the presence of the Council. Yes, his career as a Jedi had taken a step back, but he was still a Jedi. He even understood why the Council had chosen Kyp Durron for his supervisor. Kyp had personal experience in stepping away from the dark path and Jacen knew he had even helped Jaina out in that regard after Anakin had died. Overall, the Council's decision was not surprising if Jacen remembered that there were many Jedi with bad decisions in their past and they all knew that their recovery rested, not only in choosing the right path, but also in having someone there that understood and counseled when needed.

In the end, even the Council had bestowed upon him a vote of confidence.

As the light from the Coruscanti sun shone upon him, Jacen swore he would not break their trust again.

- THE END -

* * *

><p><strong> Thank you all who have read and thank you for your great reviews.<strong>


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